1. Hospital Stay: Your husband should pack whatever clothing he would wear in a snowstorm. It will be very cold for him, while you will be sweating and kicking off the blankets. For the Mom, I suggest over-packing your bag, but one thing I could not have done without was my nursing pillow and an additional head pillow because the hospital pillows are very thin. After the birth, the nurses will bring you all kinds of items, including nipple cream, diapers, snot-nose sucker, mesh underwear, extra ginger ale, prune juice (by Day 2, all you will think about will be taking a poop), etc. Take it all, and if you don't use it before you leave - stash it in your overnight bag and bring it home!
2. Breastfeeding: It is going to be painful and you will want to quit. This is normal. Keep it up. You are not doing it wrong. Well, you might be doing it wrong, so get some help from a Lactation specialist to ensure that you are doing it right. Even if you are doing it correctly, it will still hurt for a few weeks. I think it was painful for me for about 5 weeks or more. It gradually gets easier, and then suddenly it doesn't hurt anymore! You will want to use Lanolin on your nipples every time you nurse at first because it helps relieve some of the burn and I think it really helped me finally get past the pain.
3. Paternity Leave: My husband took leave the week we came home from the hospital. BIG MISTAKE!! My mom and my mother-in-law also took leave that week. Additionally, all of my friends and close family took turns visiting that whole week. They brought food and gifts, and for those first two weeks I was never alone with the baby. My point is, if your mother is going to be around to help you with those first few weeks, SEND YOUR HUSBAND TO WORK. He will have nothing to do all day and will be bored out of his mind. Tell him to take paternity leave after all the visitors stop coming and when your mom has to return to work. The first few weeks of having a newborn are pretty boring - eat - poop - sleep. I suggest Dad take paternity leave when baby is 2-3 weeks old, which is right around the time that you start to get really tired from only sleeping in 2-3 hour spurts. That way, you can help each other out to get more rest during the days when baby is taking naps.
4. Keep Baby Warm, But Not Hot: You will not want to use heavy blankets or hats when baby is sleeping because there is a high risk for SIDS if they overheat. Get some swaddle blankets. I really liked the "SwaddleMe" blankets because they Velcro together and baby can't easily wiggle out. They keep baby at the perfect temperature. If baby's hands get out and they feel ice-cold, that is OK! Cold hands do not bother them, and can actually be a sign that they are the right temperature. If you want to be sure they are not freezing, feel the back of the neck, and if it is warm, baby is perfect temperature.
5. Baby Skin: At first, baby's skin will be so soft! Then, it will peel and flake off and be kind of gross. Next, it will be sensitive and somewhat dry. Get some Aquaphor for the dry patches and to put behind the ears and in other sensitive spots. Baby's neck will probably get a little rash until she can hold her head up. You can use Aquaphor, Desitin, or Lotrimin on it to help heal the skin. I found that it helps most to wipe the neck with a warm washcloth each day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. It's just a sensitive area, and milk will get stuck down there sometimes so it just makes things worse.
6. Baths for Baby: A bath is a great way to get baby to relax and wind down for the night, which is why we've made it part of the bedtime routine. Sometimes we don't even use soap, but just the act of sitting in some warm water and gently washing with a washcloth is soothing to the baby. Make sure you have soft washcloths and towels handy. Also, I LOVE the "Munchkin Shampoo Rinser" (you can get it at Target) because it bends easily to rinse the soap off.
7. Baby Monitor: Oh you don't think you need one? You do. Think of this situation... You finally get the baby to take a nap in the crib/bassinet/whatever and you want to watch a movie/read a book/sit alone in silence in a different room but you are afraid to leave her alone. Just get a baby monitor so that you can start living your life again.
8. What Do Babies Want to Do?: Babies don't need a whole lot of toys, but they do like to have different activities when they are awake, so I suggest getting three items for the first 3-4 months. The first is a bouncy seat, so that baby can sit upright without being held. It helps baby digest to sit up for about a half hour after eating, so a chair is a must-have. The second item is a musical mobile. A mobile will entertain baby while you take that 5-minute shower that you've been dying for. Also, it helps with their eye coordination. The third item is an "activity gym" - which is one of those little mats with the over-hanging items. This will also entertain baby and help her develop her hand-eye coordination.
9. Breast Pump: You will want to have a breast pump starting Day 1 of being home from the hospital. If your milk hasn't come in yet, you can help encourage it to come in. If your milk has come in, and your baby is extremely sleepy at times, you will want it to relieve the engorgement. Store any milk that you can, because after about two weeks of being at home all day, everyday, you might want to leave baby at home with Dad and take a trip out of the house. As long as your baby nurses with no problem, she can take a bottle once in a while. Holly took her first bottle at 2 weeks old, and she did just fine.
10. Getting Baby on a Schedule: Don't bother. You already have a schedule, and she can learn to live on your schedule. As you get closer to going back to work, start getting her up to eat around the time that you will need to get ready for work. "Start" her day by changing her into day clothes and a clean diaper, and feeding her. Keep the lights on during the day so that she knows that it is day-time. At night time, keep the lights low and don't talk loudly. Think of day and night as 12 hours each, so if you wake her at 7AM, then day-time is 7AM - 7PM, and night-time is 7PM - 7AM. She won't sleep the whole time at night, but you will be training her circadian rhythm, and eventually she will sleep longer and longer during the night hours. "End" her day with a bed-time routine, such as low lights, a bath, changing into pajamas, quiet activities like whispering or singing. Don't get discouraged if she doesn't fall asleep when you think she should. Eventually she will get tired and sleep.
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